just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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