TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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