I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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