I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
