you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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