idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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