apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
