wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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