hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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