Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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