I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize