so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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