so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
