i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
