I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
