I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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