how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
