Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
