dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
