that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
