you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
