I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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