he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
