yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
