The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
