Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize