Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
