Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
