Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
