dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
