Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
