I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
