Having a random hookup so left but love u
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
