Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
