i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
