I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
