I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
