See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize