Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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