My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We are two peas in an std pod
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
