Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
