Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
