I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
