Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's always time for handjobs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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