i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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