they need to just BURY HIM!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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