u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
