I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
