worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
