So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
