Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
