My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
