i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
