i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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