if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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