People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
