I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
