I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How's work?
Spinning.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize