Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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