I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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