we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
