I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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