I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
