Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
